So when you pray for something real bad, you get it.. I always tell myself to be careful what I pray for… many a times, I just did not know that things turn around so quick…

Two years back, every second, I would pray for sometime for myself to figure out my next steps in my life.. I did not want to do a job just for the sake of doing a job and earning money and continue with all the riff raff of fighting for a place in the pyramid. It was exhausting. Even when my concerned colleagues who would have definitely thought, I have gone down the bend :), asked me, I was like, I will have to figure out.. I mean who does that… ? Was I crazy…  But it was like that time.. when I needed to take stock of what to do with the remaining years of my life… and I needed to do something which was meaningful to me.

It started with the withdrawal symptoms of a workaholic… was going insane without the work routine… But I am glad I went through it all… found things to do I have had long time on my bucket list about me…

Spending time with self (loved that part – I was losing myself) , knowing what to do besides the usual and expected, drawing, designing to my hearts content, learning shlokas, getting acquainted with Sanskrit, getting initiated into the next step of spiritual practice which was a long time coming… and then Yoga.

Prayers and mediation and requesting for guidance from the Divine Mother… on

what to do… what to do… what to do…

This reminds me of the song

We’re goin’ on a bear hunt
(We’re goin’ on a bear hunt)
We’re going to catch a big one,
(We’re going to catch a big one,)I’m not scared
(I’m not scared)
What a beautiful day!
(What a beautiful day!)

Uh-uh!
Grass!
Long wavy grass.
We can’t go over it.
We can’t go under it.
Oh no!
We’ve got to go through it!
Swishy swashy! Swishy swashy! Swishy swashy!

Chorus: We’re going on a bear hunt…

……..

It took 8 months to be peaceful and after that, and just like that, the calling came…  but once my cup was empty, the new thoughts slowly started trickling.. so many new possibilities…

All I knew was that I wanted to do something which had purpose, meaning and made my life worth living, which included all the squishy squashy parts…   I prayed for the opportunity to do something with a brand I believed in, a brand that valued people, a brand that gave back to people and not just excelled in making slaves out of them, a brand that brought in positivity in people’s lives daily.. and well, the calling came…

Taking the certification was not easy.. but it gave me purpose and I discovered so much about myself. Doing Yoga at the studios and learning and living Yoga everyday of the moment with a group of like minded people with a similar mindset…

Being certified to teach Yoga and actually teaching Yoga is like the icing on the cake. I like to think I am still a student and will be studying every day… and what better way to close the circle to share what I learn to the community around me… and make it a job out of it… what more could I ask for but to keep learning… as I grow…

So yes… thank you dear Divine Mother for answering my prayers…

Cannot forget the friends and my family who have supported me so much..

It is a mountain I have to climb… but then I am from the mountains… guess I am in my element…. rain or shine..

Today I sit and write this so that when I am down or out, I can read this and remind myself about this lesson I am learning… the memory gets tricky…

flower_drop_reflection_by_ohman_itsme-d2z9g5tSo every birthday I tend to reflect on the last years… and like to look back with peace and wonder how I can improve my way of thinking and leading a judgement free, stress free and a more constructive way of living…

At this pinnacle, it was actually amazing to see the difference of how I perceived myself across the years.. and I think I am growing very very rich…. in experience… and the unfolding of the inner me as I walk quietly in my journey… is unbelievably beautiful…

I saw myself… fashioning my life according to society’s and people’s perception of what I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to do …. and that always made me uncomfortable… and though I molded myself in other’s expectations, leaving my own dreams far behind, pursuing the ideal Indian dream as one would expect… it was with immense relief and joy that I started charting my own path… and living my own Pallavi Dream… as I have envisaged from the very deep regions of my heart.

And I love the lessons that pushed me to pursue this …  reminded me of Maya Angelou and her talks… which so resonated within me..

From feeling like a victim, I rose through my experiences, a winner… an explorer, a creator, a passion filled soul to make the most of life the way I think is best for me… despite everything… who can tell me to stop singing if I have a song… I am singing… and I will keep composing new songs….

Oh it fills me with peace and contentment to reach this stage of my life, more so as my inner belief that I was right… in dreaming my dreams… impossible though it seemed…. and am so right in pursuing them despite discouragement and disappointments and the pain that comes with life… 🙂

The greatest lesson that comes to me… that I would like to remember this birthday is the lesson in letting go and forgiveness. From holding a certain map of “shoulds” and “musts”, last year, life handed me a bittersweet surprise of letting me look unto myself through the follies of others… what I considered a folly could very well be my own action..

And when Maya talked about forgiveness, it was like an epiphany to me..

Particularly when she said, “I forgive it. I don’t anoint it with anything. I just forgive it.”

Oprah then asked Maya Angelou when you forgive someone,  does not mean you invite them into your house after that?

To which Maya Angelou responded with conviction, “No not at all. When I forgive you, it means I am done. I am finished with you. Go away. Not go away and harm someone else. I do so because I have to protect myself.”

To which Oprah said, ” I have to be willing to take care of me first then I have enough to take care of myself first.”

I was always questioning the art of forgiveness, how can you forgive, if you are so hurt but this statement was like the answer that I believed in and it allowed to me to live without any judgement … and it kind of freed me… from my own chains of thoughts… damn powerful I might say…

And watching Maya Angelou speak thus… just felt like I was getting a gift.. which I knew I believed in, deep inside me…

I dont know if I know enough, but I know a lot ( I am grateful for that) , I know I know enough to try to live what I know.. and thats a lot. I still dont think I have it all.

Best Advice : The best advice I have ever given was to my son who asked me: I don’t have any friends, how can i get friends.

In order to get a friend, be ready to be a friend.

There is a place in you that you must keep pristine so that no body has the right to curse you, violate you, coz that place is the place where you meet your God.

Say no when its no. Because that place has to remain clean and clear and it has to be a place within yourself that nobody can invade.

When a person comes with rude language to you, you have to say “BACK OFF”

What a wonderful way to think… 🙂 keep that space within yourself pristine.. 🙂

The most beautiful gift I received was the expansion space for our venture Ankh Creations…. that was a miracle. Now I have the exact space that I dreamed of. And we are almost done with our rennovation as well.  So whether we planned it or not, expansion happened… and yes I am grateful for the opportunity and that beautiful gift.

And always blessed to be remembered in the memories of souls who have touched me with meaningful impact as I cruised along… school friends who never forget my day… even if I do… my well wishers… who remembered…  bday or no bday…. I know I am blessed to have all of you as my well wishers …. and its the same from me to you…  no matter how many miles apart we are… 🙂 and how busy we are..

and yeah to the many good souls… who asked me about ” why is this not on facebook ?”
No dear friends… it is more precious to be remembered from a memory than not… at all… than be just another click wish… 🙂 ( no offense… but thats me… )

Looking forward to another rich year… rich with the myriads of experiences which will help me go closer and closer to my purpose… of being here on this earth… and then go back to being part of all. 🙂

 

Poet Maya Angelou on courage: “One isn’t born with courage. One develops it by doing small courageous things—in the way that if one sets out to pick up a 100-pound bag of rice, one would be advised to start with a five-pound bag, then 10 pounds, then 20 pounds, and so forth, until one builds up enough muscle to lift the 100-pound bag. It’s the same way with courage. You do small courageous things that require some mental and spiritual exertion.”

Today was reading this and thought about a random post…

One of my other favorite prayer is the Serenity Prayer which always humbles me and brings me down to earth…

images (5)

And the thought led me to this :

It takes courage

to first find yourself far away from the rules and regulations that the system forces on us

to accept yourself and then be yourself living with abundant joy

to be a part of a tree and when that tree becomes poison, separate yourself from it along with the illusory attachment,

to know and experience that alone does not always mean lonely… can lead to greater enlightenment

to exist without the need for approval and believing in the instinctive truth that one sees…

to live amidst scores of judgement and still stand by oneself and one’s belief despite that

to be laughed at and be ridiculed and yet live with supreme confidence

to be part of the said system and yet find your unique path, live it with supreme confidence knowing that you like everyone else are living your purpose and the contrast that

to be mindful of what is said and how can I find service in my actions

to be patient while someone is busy blowing their trumpet, understanding that the trumpet is telling you that this soul has no one to talk to or share his achievements… and you are doing a service in listening someone’s sense of achievement.. with encouragement..

to not digress from one’s own path while getting diverted from other soul journeys…

to be in the “know” and not lose focus… of my purpose… and get involved in the seven worldy dramas…

to be compassionate in the face of abject hatred and utter rejection

to be non judgmental when somethings goes against your belief system…

to be joyful in the face of frequent obstacles…

to listen to your inner voice/spirit guides muting all the well meaning suggestions… thereby gaining clarity with self

to climb the ladder of enrichment again and again, based on life’s lessons, without giving up, knowing there is something wonderful, if we get past this one…

to make my dreams come true… and live it… second by second

to have no ego…

to be non-judgmental about my own self..

to be still….

 

Picture credit : http://www.mylifeatfullspeed.com/page/2/

Picture credit : http://www.mylifeatfullspeed.com/page/2/

I love picking up inspirational posts or content from wherever I can… anything that puts me in a positive frame of mind always makes me more grounded and focussed on what I need to do NOW, not forget who I need to be NOW and how I need to proceed further…

Considering all the lemons that are being thrown at me in many ways… I think I love being surrounded by the reiterating force of life that says not to give up and to keep going… no matter what…

So be it the immense love shared between my two birds, the resilience of my fishes, the very good team members who show they care for me in very many ways… like coming by and provide me with moral support in many ways, I think I have the best team till date and I treasure each one of you… souls who have been walking with me.. and it always humbles me to see the way they take care of me… sometimes without them knowing it… , The lady at the cafeteria, who makes these awesome bhajjis and who I spend time talking to and enjoy listening to her stories… as well…. she even makes me special food when no one is looking…. hahahah 🙂 how I appreciate that… even the Security guy who always smiles at me… and gives me a smart good morning everyday…. I always, find myself wanting to be frozen in moments and then capture all the powerful vibrations and its like medicine for the soul… to be reborn every morning with the right dose of groundedness and faith… I keep telling myself how blessed I am….

So yes I am still struggling with accepting of humiliation to the self by certain entities, who I think are ignorant and really don’t know what they are saying or doing, … I am figuring out how to address this without any judgement…  and I am sure there is a lesson somewhere … still searching the meaning or the logic… ok I get the logic… I need to learn humility and more patience I guess… but I think I need to see the Buddha in the soul that given a chance, has decided to rub my nose in the ground with irrelevant demands… and yeah.. maybe my elastic limit has just reached its limit… 🙂 If a soul thinks I am an idiot and treats me like one, I guess I need to behave like one… to see how it feels to be an idiot… ( hahahah ) [maybe thats the lesson, what it is to be an idiot, what it is to be enslaved and what it is to be degraded, so that I can stand for similar souls in the future (i thought I had fought my share of this off not sometime back)

Having said that, I stretch my patience and respect for myself… by trying to ignore… the mud… and see through it…

Having that in my mind, this gave me lot of inspiration, and it echoed in me as I have been subconsciously thinking on these lines and having it seen written in such succinct points just made me post this.. 🙂

This content is courtesy Marc and Angel Hack Life ,Practical Tips for Productive Living

30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself

  1. Start spending time with the right people. – These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways.  They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.

  2. Start facing your problems head on. – It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them.  Problems will not disappear unless you take action.  Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done.  It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch.  These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.

  3. Start being honest with yourself about everything. – Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed.  Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become.  Be honest with every aspect of your life, always.  Because you are the one person you can forever count on.  Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are.  Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there.  Read The Road Less Traveled.

  4. Start making your own happiness a priority. – Your needs matter.  If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself.  Remember, it IS possible to take care of your own needs while simultaneously caring for those around you.  And once your needs are met, you will likely be far more capable of helping those who need you most.

  5. Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly. – Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are.  Be yourself.  Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else.  Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms.  Above all, be true to YOU, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.

  6. Start noticing and living in the present. – Right now is a miracle.  Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you.  Right now is life.  So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future.  Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past.  Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening.  Appreciate the world for the beauty that it holds, right now.

  7. Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you. – Mistakes are okay; they’re the stepping stones of progress.  If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not trying hard enough and you’re not learning.  Take risks, stumble, fall, and then get up and try again.  Appreciate that you are pushing yourself, learning, growing and improving.  Significant achievements are almost invariably realized at the end of a long road of failures.  One of the ‘mistakes’ you fear might just be the link to your greatest achievement yet.

  8. Start being more polite to yourself. – If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?  The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.  You must love who you are or no one else will.

  9. Start enjoying the things you already have. – The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life – a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc.  Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you’ll likely have a new destination in mind.  You’ll end up spending your whole life working toward something new without ever stopping to enjoy the things you have now.  So take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have.

  10. Start creating your own happiness. – If you are waiting for someone else to make you happy, you’re missing out.  Smile because you can.  Choose happiness.  Be the change you want to see in the world.  Be happy with who you are now, and let your positivity inspire your journey into tomorrow.  Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it.  If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it.  But if you constantly look for something else, unfortunately, you’ll find that too.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.

  11. Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance. – In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance.  You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work.  Most of the time you just have to go for it!  And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be.  Either you succeed or you learn something.  Win-Win.

  12. Start believing that you’re ready for the next step. – You are ready!  Think about it.  You have everything you need right now to take the next small, realistic step forward.  So embrace the opportunities that come your way, and accept the challenges – they’re gifts that will help you to grow.

  13. Start entering new relationships for the right reasons. – Enter new relationships with dependable, honest people who reflect the person you are and the person you want to be.  Choose friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who show you love and respect – people who reciprocate your kindness and commitment.  And pay attention to what people do, because a person’s actions are much more important than their words or how others represent them.

  14. Start giving new people you meet a chance. – It sounds harsh, but you cannot keep every friend you’ve ever made.  People and priorities change.  As some relationships fade others will grow.  Appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work.  Trust your judgment.  Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory.  Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.

  15. Start competing against an earlier version of yourself. – Be inspired by others, appreciate others, learn from others, but know that competing against them is a waste of time.  You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself.  You are competing to be the best you can be.  Aim to break your own personal records.

  16. Start cheering for other people’s victories. – Start noticing what you like about others and tell them.  Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places.  So be happy for those who are making progress.  Cheer for their victories.  Be thankful for their blessings, openly.  What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.

  17. Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations. – When things are hard, and you feel down, take a few deep breaths and look for the silver lining – the small glimmers of hope.  Remind yourself that you can and will grow stronger from these hard times.  And remain conscious of your blessings and victories – all the things in your life that are right.  Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.

  18. Start forgiving yourself and others. – We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others.  And while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long.  We relive the pain over and over and have a hard time letting go.  Forgiveness is the remedy.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened.  It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.

  19. Start helping those around you. – Care about people.  Guide them if you know a better way.  The more you help others, the more they will want to help you.  Love and kindness begets love and kindness.  And so on and so forth.

  20. Start listening to your own inner voice. – If it helps, discuss your ideas with those closest to you, but give yourself enough room to follow your own intuition.  Be true to yourself.  Say what you need to say.  Do what you know in your heart is right.

  21. Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks.– Slow down.  Breathe.  Give yourself permission to pause, regroup and move forward with clarity and purpose.  When you’re at your busiest, a brief recess can rejuvenate your mind and increase your productivity.  These short breaks will help you regain your sanity and reflect on your recent actions so you can be sure they’re in line with your goals.

  22. Start noticing the beauty of small moments. – Instead of waiting for the big things to happen – marriage, kids, big promotion, winning the lottery – find happiness in the small things that happen every day.  Little things like having a quiet cup of coffee in the early morning, or the delicious taste and smell of a homemade meal, or the pleasure of sharing something you enjoy with someone else, or holding hands with your partner.  Noticing these small pleasures on a daily basis makes a big difference in the quality of your life.

  23. Start accepting things when they are less than perfect. – Remember, ‘perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good.’  One of the biggest challenges for people who want to improve themselves and improve the world is learning to accept things as they are.  Sometimes it’s better to accept and appreciate the world as it is, and people as they are, rather than to trying to make everything and everyone conform to an impossible ideal.  No, you shouldn’t accept a life of mediocrity, but learn to love and value things when they are less than perfect.

  24. Start working toward your goals every single day. – Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.  Whatever it is you dream about, start taking small, logical steps every day to make it happen.  Get out there and DO something!  The harder you work the luckier you will become.  While many of us decide at some point during the course of our lives that we want to answer our calling, only an astute few of us actually work on it.  By ‘working on it,’ I mean consistently devoting oneself to the end result.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

  25. Start being more open about how you feel. – If you’re hurting, give yourself the necessary space and time to hurt, but be open about it.  Talk to those closest to you.  Tell them the truth about how you feel.  Let them listen.  The simple act of getting things off your chest and into the open is your first step toward feeling good again.

  26. Start taking full accountability for your own life. – Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them.  Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will.  And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own.  You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life.  And no, it won’t always be easy.  Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them.  But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles.  Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.

  27. Start actively nurturing your most important relationships. – Bring real, honest joy into your life and the lives of those you love by simply telling them how much they mean to you on a regular basis.  You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people.  Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty.  Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.

  28. Start concentrating on the things you can control. – You can’t change everything, but you can always change something.  Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation.  Invest your energy in the things you can control, and act on them now.

  29. Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes. – The mind must believe it CAN do something before it is capable of actually doing it.  The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.  Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones.  Regardless of how a situation seems, focus on what you DO WANT to happen, and then take the next positive step forward.  No, you can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to things.  Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether or not you’re happy and successful in the long run depends greatly on which aspects you focus on.  Read The How of Happiness.

  30. Start noticing how wealthy you are right now. – Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.”  Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective.  You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night.  You didn’t go to sleep outside.  You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning.  You hardly broke a sweat today.  You didn’t spend a minute in fear.  You have access to clean drinking water.  You have access to medical care.  You have access to the Internet.  You can read.  Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.