pentacles“The belief that unhappiness is selfless and happiness is selfish is misguided. It’s more selfless to act happy. It takes energy, generosity, and discipline to be unfailingly lighthearted, yet everyone takes the happy person for granted. No one is careful of his feelings or tries to keep his spirits high. He seems self-sufficient; he becomes a cushion for others. And because happiness seems unforced, that person usually gets no credit.”
― Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project: Or Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun

 

I believe that if I just do not search for the reason to be happy, I am really content..

Happiness is something which I think is very fleeting.. contentment lasts for sometime…. and I like that feeling..

Its like I am not too high or not to low… just the right balance…

 

I have also decided to be stoic when I am pushed to the limit… stop reacting… 🙂

and Viola !! I am past it… the more one reacts the more I give cause for me to be unhappy..

Or lets say… I will choose when to react, thats better…

 

So rambling apart… its Friday… and its been a very interesting week…

Some important… points have been cleared in my mind.. I know what I need to do and I am getting there…

I have shed my attachment to the illusive material benefits of an illusive existence and am living in the moment where I need to be, doing what I need to do, and definitely moving forward..

Today I feel like the Ace of Pentacles…

Ace of Pentacles – The physical/material beginning of things – the ultimate and successful completion of physical/material matters to the highest standards. It is time for you to ground your creative energy into material gain, contentment and the fulfillment of your hopes, wishes and desires. Allow yourself to experience the ultimate balance – mental, emotional, spiritual and physical success resulting in a joyful life. Bring together all your internal and external resources and talents. Everything is great now and successful ventures are possible if you start with a good foundation. You have the stability and skills required to get results. You can silently visualize your hoped-for results, decide how to use them in a new way and then stubbornly keep at it until you see it in final form. Experience the fruits of your labor – it is your spiritual work which leads you to recognize the magic in normal things. Move beyond that to an even greater knowledge. When you are ready, the Gateway will always open to the truth. You will receive important information soon. Set your goals, plan how to achieve them – then act on your plans. Nurture them with patience – complete the task and reward yourself.

Perfection, blessings and good fortune. Excellent health. The possibility of new business ventures or a new physical regimen. Accept your physical prowess, your superiority. Experience your independence and self-sufficiency – your ability to provide, to produce. It is time for you to express your greatest physical potential.

Questions to Answer: What new opportunities for work, stability, home, money or health do you have? What is making you feel secure and grounded? How can you use a recent gift? What plan are you putting in motion? What kinds of seeds are you planting? How are you being rewarded for your accomplishments?

Have a great weekend peoples… 🙂

I have a new bird to train… and I think a new birdie friend to make..

world

After reading this post 4 reasons to hold on a little longer…where the author elaborates on the following points..

1. You are growing from your struggles.

2. Your heart still burns with love.

3. You aren’t crazy – just a little stressed out.

4. You have something special to offer the world.

Reading that was like a message… for me… to make me pause and not run around like a bullet train without a destination..

Sometimes, I wonder, why everything simple can be so complex… I know its just the way I want to look at it..

Sometimes, the simpler way I want to view things, the more like a spider’s web it becomes…
What are the reasons I should hold on a little longer ??So the point is I question myself, inspiring myself to ask myself…

  1. All about lessons… 
    Till I finish what I have set out to do.. or learn from this phase, this situation will never improve, I have to look beyond the situation and decide and KNOW with clarity where I choose to stand in terms of my state of mind.. Am I in it or am I over it ? If I am in it, I better understand the reason why I am in it… and get over it… nothing is permanent… and I am the only one responsible for this… so getting humiliated, listening to nonsense… and allowing myself to be in a deplorable situation is all my doing… it is for me to GET OUT with compassion… without any judgement… without a murmur..  and with my self respect intact.. 

  2. You are reaping what you sow…  Sow love and you will get love, sow attitude and you will get attitude.. so hatred and you will get hatred.. its all about the first strike.. and my reaction to it… the chain of events that happen in due time… is all because of how I reacted to one event.. or a person… so lie on the bed you made and get over it… stop cribbing… !! Enough is enough… You cannot control nonsense around you which you are also responsible for… but you can control how you react to it… GOLDEN RULE..

  3. What am I gaining from it ?? Well I am being taught by my most honorable teachers and I better be a good student. I always believe in one adage that my Lama taught me in the mountains, when you are facing the worst times of your life or getting nonsense from someone, that someone or that time is your greatest teacher as it brings out either the worst or the best in you… am I going to dwell in the darker side and become the situation… or the person that is responsible for this or Am I going to rise above it, finding the compassion inside me to see the Buddha in the soul and the situation and move on.. without any judgement or karmic balance (does not stop me from cursing though when I am dwelling in a very mundane plane of thought)

  4. Nothing is permanent Except Death. I need to let this moment pass by knowing there are better times ahead… Not the good and not the bad… remains, it all circles around us… I am remembering the Tarot card World here. 🙂 So what goes up comes down and vice versa… I am in charge of my own destiny and I will shape it after going through my journey of self realization… with dignity.

well dear blog, I feel strengthened in my determination already… 🙂  writing does help…

I was inspired by this article to jot down something of my own.. some of the lessons that I had to unlearn and which strengthened my belief about how I want to live.Again, this is very personal and its perfectly fine if this is totally contrary to what some think. This works for me and it has helped me, hence thought about sharing..

1. Education is the most important thing as we grow up. Well this was drilled into me and as I made this my first priority, as I lived into the adult stage, I did see that it was more important to be a good human being. If you always were a topper and did not really care much to feel for or  share with the weaker ones, that sets a pattern in work and in real life.Maybe this was true when education meant employment and was available for only few. But now as we evolve, I have seen with life examples with friends and clients as well that in the pursuit of the “good education” they somehow lost out on life, family and friends in someway or the other.. Education is important  but this aspect needs to be balanced with the growth of the personality and self-development as well through experiences, self and the people around us.

2. Respect your elders. Yes, that was good advice but I did see that we do not have to take crap from elders who have no respect for themselves or for me. I did try and heed this advice but after a while of me” bashing for no reason whatsoever from some, I did change the process and decided that it does not hold true for everyone.I would rather say ” Respect all human beings, young and old, poor or rich, strong or weak, ALL of them” but heck do something to stand up to people  who are out to get you, just because they have age or social status above you. It does not need a negative approach but a sane, detached and firm approach showing them that they cannot mess around just because they share the same blood or have some “up” on you.  Firmness with diplomacy, helps. It did and still does with me. And I don’t even have to get into any fights or arguments.. and I don’t entertain the same with anyone..anymore..

3. I need my space. Well, I did realize, that its all good about space and everything but at the end, if we keep insisting on space, we will end up very lonely and confused. Space is very illusory. I found that I could be my own woman without the need to stress my femininity or the lack of it with anyone. I got my space, if I was smart enough to arrange my life accordingly with my family and friends and with babysitting the young uns.This need for space will always be there if the woman/man always feels she is restricted..

Change the belief and imagine that you are all powerful and resourceful to do anything that you want. Be a wanton lover, a flirt, a wonderful wife, a friend, a mother, a good daughter, a respected daughter in law, a high flying executive and yet have some space for yourself to do things that you love on your own..its all about rearranging.. I find. The key is to always keep some time for yourself and not go into that sacrificing mode of be all and do all.. You will be perceived that way and soon you will realize that you are in a trap, a trap that you created yourself and start the process of cribbing and wanting out.. Be smart and always have something to do on your own.. Goes for both men and women.

For a man, its about doing things he loves and yet bonds with the family.. and there he goes..The moment we believe in the lack of space, we will always be desperate for it and in that process alienate the very condition that we are happy to be in.. so that could be anything that you want.. its not about space, its about YOU being comfortable with YOU and making time for YOU.

4. Pleasing everyone makes you a better person. The more people you please, the better person you are. Well for me, I did realize that at first its all great. The parties, being popular, having a jazzy personality, and all the blah at work and at play,  but at the end of the day, it did not connect me to myself. I was losing out on my choices to be with people I really wanted to be with, talk with, or just hang out with. It did not need a psychic to tell me that I needed to change the way I lived.So now I have good friends around me who I consciously choose to be with and grow with some substance.  And most of all, I find, I am very comfortable since I am going with my choice and not forced by social rules. I see that I automatically attract like minded people by just being me and yes, if you are genuine, you will still be known for the right reasons.

5. All my spouses best friends are my best friends and vice versa. This is the most notorious of them all. Hahaha !! No it does not work and the moment I realized the conflict of interest, I did make a conscious decision that its better to be acquaintances or good social connects with them. Keeps the interaction happy and hassle free. There are exceptions who have connected to me personally but mostly it is all good if there is this line of civility there.  Different background, different histories, different perceptions, and well it is all good.. to respect that and accept it and bond with one’s own pals.. makes life easier..  LOL

6. Burning my bras gives me power. Well no sireee… I went there and the world looked pretty bleak and depressing.. LOL. Femininity is all good when it is balanced.  I need the men in my life and not in my life to make me feel good about being a woman.. Hahaha !! So well I would rather keep them bras where they belong. So I would object to a woman being treated unfairly and all that but I would say that all men are not bad and all women are not weak and we all have the power to live for ourselves. Its important to recognize it and use it well. I would rather focus on figuring out how to not destroy the balance and yet be a part of the very system that I belong, the smart way. Believe me ! there are so many ways one can do that.

7. What will people think ? Thats a refrain I used to hear from my folks at home and in my family and around me. I used to follow this rule and then again, it did not take me long to figure out that if I go with this thought, the imaginary  “people” will always rule my life and I will not have a brain of my own. I started making my own way and well yes, “the people” talked, bitched, degraded, etc and they will go on but I am happy that they do not have any more voice than another stranger barking some stupid breaking news on the channel.So again, its important that we know the rules of the system and live around it according to our choices, without needing to be an outcast but at the same time live with dignity and happiness. And the very people, would say like one of them commented to me after barking at me for a while and me ignoring it calmly and smiling it away ” leave it, she will not listen and she will do her own thing ” Well at least, it got into that head that I will do my own thing which will not embarrass anyone and yet fulfill the purpose of the task.  So I do think of the people with lot of respect and yes I think about myself too with lot of respect.. Works well..

8. If someone helps you at your very bad time, anything is ok with that person. I had this opinion, that if someone helped me at my bad time, I would give my life for that person. And I lived by it. I still live by it. But its interesting to note how we do not learn to make the difference between help, a good advice and interference. As I again lived from being a rebellious student to a working woman, I did note that help is something and gratefulness is something. But letting that helpful person take advantage of your gratefulness is something else.

So my point is, be grateful but keep your bearings in mind.. don’t let that give ultimate power to the person to control your life. An altruistic soul would not dream of encroaching your privacy. But 99 % keeps looking for opportunity of how to use  that gratefulness to their advantage. This is a topic, I keep having long arguments with my father. And it pains me to see that he still goes by that old adage.. and that’s dangerous in current living scenario.

9. I  have to keep doing something to be happy. I had this belief that being on my own was very lonely. And I had hordes of friends always. And I felt very scared when I was free with nothing to do.  The power of be with myself and have a life with just myself has enabled me to discover so much about the self and I am still in that process.. So I would rather see this as I have to keep creating something wonderful with myself and everything around me to be happy and that is limitless and timeless.Sometimes it could be as easy as thinking and doing NOTHING.

10. If something does not work, give it up: there are more options. This pertains to conflicting relationships at work and at play.  More so at work.  If things did not get solved at a particular time frame, I would look out for another job and keep hopping.. Well, what do you say ?? I found that the same situations keep getting repeated in different forms and feels till there is no place to run. And its good to wait it out and close it .In some cases, I waited it out and then built a strategy around it to beat this. Of course, in many cases, I have let go since it was beyond repair but I did see that if I let it go and detached myself and keeping a objective view of that situation, it would repair itself without much damage.

Again, there have been times, I had to just let go and that’s it.. But when I do get that feeling, my insides tells me that its alright.. And its ok to do that.. That way, its also a closure but not without trying.So my point is : If something does not work at your job, look at it different options around you to make it work. Apply it and move on. Do not give up without trying or without evaluating thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. If all else fails, then a new opportunity will blossom and you are good to go to the next phase.For people, give them space, take some space,for yourself and in the work sphere, it all comes around. Personally, its OK to not get along with people, I have more of a choice, but its not OK to judge the people who I did not get along with for what they are and how they interact. This helps me is seeing them as just another soul like me trying to do things right in their own way.