Retirement or is it ??

passion-wordle-1One of the wishes I had was to work with something or someone or a concept for which I had love and passion for..

It started with languages and then with writing and then with People… Everytime, I resisted and then once pushed it worked wonders for me… it was like polishing what I had inside…

Languages for example, it was never unique for me that I grew up speaking more than 5 languages.. it built the communication skills and helped me learn the foreign languages easily. Today when I see my friends who are married from different ethnicity, I encourage them to have their kids speak both their languages. It is an unbeatable combination or a foundation for communication skills and lateral thinking and even helps in their imagination..

I loved to write from the time I discovered pens and pencils.. and stationery.. even today I flip on stationery items… Keyboard just does not do it for me like pen on paper.. it evolved into letters and then I discovered the world of pen-friends… where I could write to my hearts content and there were friends who had the time to read and reply in equally detailed manner… made many good friends some of whom are still in touch… it was a beautiful world.. without much expectations… just writing and sharing for the love of it…

These were sort of some of my many hobbies which kept me busy enough to be always excited about something or the other. I had plenty of friends and playmates but this world of mine was just mine… where I could build and create as I wished… oh it is still so beautiful…

Then writing became my job and my love and communication became standardised shaded with policies and rules of dos and dont’s, a totally different world of different shades of grey. It was all interesting at the beginning and as long as the job was exciting and there was impact with my skills or whatever abilities I had, it was fulfilling but then it was tiring swimming through the plethora of resistance and routine… and yet salary meant security and stability… which one is so scared to let go…

The more resistance I had from inside, the more I was pushed to do justice to my inner self, my purpose and the very belief that kept flowering inside me that it was time I just followed my passion… yes it would be difficult, yes it would be unknown, yes it would be totally scary but to stay with something which totally killed me inside and did not give me any respect besides the money… was really a deal breaker.. I was like —- what is the worst case scenario… that I would have to face… believe me I had deep dark scenarios… which left me shaken… part of it fuelled by the score of society which kept me tied… unwillingly to things that I did not believe in….

There is always a beginning and an end to everything.. Nothing lasts for ever and if only we allow the old bits to end, new bits come to flower in our life…

So here I am, unshackled from that so called corporate milieu and loving it… Yes I have had withdrawal symptoms… but I have embraced all that and every day is beautiful when I keep counting what is already there in my life and my gratitude knows no bounds… I am breathing, I am healthier, I am not worried about compromising my beliefs, I dont  have to be forced to listen to a  stupid Chinese putting Indians and Indian colleagues down or the Indian system down at every opportunity …. Idiotic though that soul is, he never understood that it was this very India which was giving him so much freedom to be nonsensical… if he was in China, he might have been bloody persecuted by his Govt.. ( grrrrrrrowwwwlllll) [ More on that on my future ramblings]

Anyways, before I digress, my cup is empty now and my loving friends have rallied again.. to push me ahead with things I have been fearful of… I knew from the inside but the monkey mind keeps scattering the doubts… ready to overpower the certainty in the uncertain… After one of the calls today from a dearest friend, I was in tears with gratitude to the universe as my thoughts unfolded and as my friends came in to rally in with me… I get more and more courage to strike out with the values and the ideas which I believe in…

It is more critical for me since I am a person, as crazy and idiosyncratic as I am, it scares me to hell to just leap into the unknown but oddly whenever I did that, there were multiple benefits…  and hope that this unknown leap will also bring forth unlimited joys and open more pathways inside me…. the possibilities have been been limitless…. just waiting to be tapped into…  Yeah as you can understand… now I am in love with myself… buhahahaha 🙂 and I love it…

It is always important to follow what your heart wants. You will get stuck doing things what others want to do… Do It.. its fine as long as you know there is something which you want to… and start digging, you never know what treasures you may discover… and block out the chatter of the souls who tell you that you are no good or this will not work or laugh at you… they don’t matter… and yes hook up with the souls who egg you on, even knowing that its a bit crazy and yet have that belief in you making you stronger with every step…. with no judgements…

Every time I think that I am striking it alone, there are so many so many so many helping hands in the form of so many magical events… that I cannot be grateful enough for all that life has given me… even if its a tiny drop… it fills me with an ocean of possibilities… that tiny drop is enough…

So yes I think I am hanging up my Corporate Robe for a while, as I brew something for what I believe in. Its still work in progress and I don’t know the exact path but its unfurling and that journey itself is bloody exhilarating…  this new robe is magical… I must say… hahahaha 🙂

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