That moment coming back from my Yoga classes, when you get ***toinked*** by a taxi and he wants to push off his other damages as well by my head.
 
Nope I did not do anything.. just was waiting there as usual waiting to turn left.. listening to my favorite Geetmala and Vividbharati… on the radio…. Chanda o Chanda ( one of my favorite songs )
 
Over the hummming and swinging to the beautiful beat …. suddenly I hear this CRUNCHSSHHH… I pause my heart dancing .. And then I hear another… CRACK And CRUNCH…
 
No no no no …. What the &*#*^# 😱😱😮😮😮😣😣😣😣😣
I peek out and realise that this ETIOS Cab had somehow inserted his left wheel against my back right Wheel and then while reversing.. his car’s front fender was damaged… SHIT… 😣😣😣
 
Timing – Bad 😤 7:00 PM
Area – Fraught with Cabbie Unions😭😢😢😰😰
Traffic Police on Duty – Waiting to take the weak one’s trip…
Cop Car on Duty – Just near me… 😕😟😟😟😨😨
 
I take deep breaths… Inhale — Exhale..
Channeling the YOGINI in me… I calm my sense of hopelessness and wait…
 
I slowly open the door to assess damages and work on a smooth exit strategy…
 
The traffic police all excited… : Take to the Left side Please
I do so..
The cab also comes by and blocks my exit from behind so that I cannot escape… Well… 🤭🤭🤭🤭 I have plans..
 
So I slowly go and talk to him..
Start with a “tumba sorry line”… he is befuddled with my “sorry face”… and I request him take 500 INR and fix it.
 
He is like : I have to talk to the owner..
He yaps on the phone with the owner… ( its 8:00 PM)
And he gets back saying, I have to fix the car ASAP… he does not know… anything..
 
I say well where do I fix it.. he does not know…
then he starts pulling the fender… I was like DUDE why are pulling it … 😟😤😟
 
He is like… no this damaged… this fender is worth 9000 INR and you are giving me 500 INR..
I am like… its just a nudge and not a scratch…
 
I then take him through my Bolero,… buying some time telling him how easily it can be fixed.. I mean… DUH..
I give him some gyan about crumple zones… and shit… tell him stories about how we fix our own car when we have small problems… and blah blah… 
 
NOPE… he wants the car fixed…
 
The police… starts talking to him in Kannada…
I interrupt him… then in Telegu, I interrupt him in Telegu…
 
He was basically trying to cut a side deal with that cabbie.. I was not having it… NO SIR… you messin’ with the wrong woman… I may be puny and look like
“Puss in Boots” with tiny arms and legs… but no no no… 😠😠😠 no you don’t get to take one on me…
 
He looks “down” at me… and says.. : MADAM(aaa) – aapko kya bhasah aata… ( in a very heavy South Indian Accent)
 
Me very sweetly : Ella Bhasha baratte… neevu heli… Kannada Gottu… ?? With a typical hand gesture we do here in kannada 😛
 
Immediately… – he snapped up straight…
 
NOW the talk begins… Enter Police drama…
 
Go here, go there… I know mechanic… etc etc..
I listen… patiently.. then he says.. he has duty… blah blah.. the cabbie is a good guy.. help him… I am like yeah buddy… all good..
 
Cabbie : he keeps going and pulling the fender… I am like — SOmething is not right.. why is he doing that.. does he want to show that its more damaged than it is… 
 
Slowly while the police tries to “convince” me… i walk around and MY OH MY… His right side is totally crashed out… And he wants me to repair the whole damn thing… he thought I could not see in the dark…
 
GOTCHA…. 🧐🧐🧐 ( inhale and exhale – exit strategy planned) I clearly say I am not going to pay for the fender … he says – no madam… only left side…
 
I am like.. Yeah Macha… you go the the mechanic and he will fix only one side.. WAAAHHH ( I think I look like a looser by now hahahah if he thinks that I am buying that )
 
I again sincerely tell him that I will give him 500 INR.. Take it and go and we are both happy.. Cop is looking at both of us.. thinking… oh no… how will I earn my money…
 
Meanwhile the cop takes me aside and gives me philosophy of how everyone’s time is being wasted…
I am like… But i have lot of time…
What is time ? Time is nothing.. it slips..by just like that..
Today its bad time for me tomorrow bad time for you… and the ups and down… blah blah… till he was like 😵😵😵😵
I gently tell him to go do his duty.. while I fix it..
 
NOPE… he wants his “time” = “money” now both are making calls…
 
Enough is enough… : I need to give up the YOGINI… now..
 
BANG… — This Evirl me had it… since no solution and I was being had… with cheese in between…
 
I tell them OK I will fix it… or at least try… Let me call my “husband”
 
Both of them again look at me ” HUH” 
Oh and by now, the cabbie is speaking in very good English with me.. The cop and cabbie watching me expectantly..
 
Yeah 10 mins… (Told Rocks to get another “expert” with cabbie language and culture)
 
The moment they come in, I am like.. smiling sweetly… and they now have to look up… BUAHAHHAAH it was fun… 
All the while they looked “down” at me… thinking… what a pest.. I am sure 😛
Rocks immediately checks our car…  Which by the way I had kept it for later… and then he also sees that the cabbie’s fender is badly damaged and he wanted to ride on us, by having us fix that…
Our dear friend who is well versed.. quickly takes charge… with the lingo and the authority to which the cabbies respond to…. and offers him 500 INR.. He assesses the damage to be 200 INR..
NOPE… the cabbie is adamant…
He and Rocky send me home : while they tell him to follow Rocks so that he can keep the car…
And WHOOSH after a while, they disappear…  not intentionally but well the cab could not keep up with the good old shop’s kinetic honda… The bike waits for the cab to appear but well……
Lost in Motion I guess… :P:P:P
BUhahahahahah …. EVIRL LAUGH
Lesson :
  • Be calm and speak their language and keep negotiating… and distracting if needed… 😛
  • Be genuine.. without giving away any weakness.. no shouting or crying…
  • its good if you understand the language…
  • Know your adversary : are you being *** toinked**** ?? double check…
  • Have a back up plan… my secret ammunition was our good old friend… who knew the ropes…
  • Go home and chill out…
 

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