So when you pray for something real bad, you get it.. I always tell myself to be careful what I pray for… many a times, I just did not know that things turn around so quick…

Two years back, every second, I would pray for sometime for myself to figure out my next steps in my life.. I did not want to do a job just for the sake of doing a job and earning money and continue with all the riff raff of fighting for a place in the pyramid. It was exhausting. Even when my concerned colleagues who would have definitely thought, I have gone down the bend :), asked me, I was like, I will have to figure out.. I mean who does that… ? Was I crazy…  But it was like that time.. when I needed to take stock of what to do with the remaining years of my life… and I needed to do something which was meaningful to me.

It started with the withdrawal symptoms of a workaholic… was going insane without the work routine… But I am glad I went through it all… found things to do I have had long time on my bucket list about me…

Spending time with self (loved that part – I was losing myself) , knowing what to do besides the usual and expected, drawing, designing to my hearts content, learning shlokas, getting acquainted with Sanskrit, getting initiated into the next step of spiritual practice which was a long time coming… and then Yoga.

Prayers and mediation and requesting for guidance from the Divine Mother… on

what to do… what to do… what to do…

This reminds me of the song

We’re goin’ on a bear hunt
(We’re goin’ on a bear hunt)
We’re going to catch a big one,
(We’re going to catch a big one,)I’m not scared
(I’m not scared)
What a beautiful day!
(What a beautiful day!)

Uh-uh!
Grass!
Long wavy grass.
We can’t go over it.
We can’t go under it.
Oh no!
We’ve got to go through it!
Swishy swashy! Swishy swashy! Swishy swashy!

Chorus: We’re going on a bear hunt…

……..

It took 8 months to be peaceful and after that, and just like that, the calling came…  but once my cup was empty, the new thoughts slowly started trickling.. so many new possibilities…

All I knew was that I wanted to do something which had purpose, meaning and made my life worth living, which included all the squishy squashy parts…   I prayed for the opportunity to do something with a brand I believed in, a brand that valued people, a brand that gave back to people and not just excelled in making slaves out of them, a brand that brought in positivity in people’s lives daily.. and well, the calling came…

Taking the certification was not easy.. but it gave me purpose and I discovered so much about myself. Doing Yoga at the studios and learning and living Yoga everyday of the moment with a group of like minded people with a similar mindset…

Being certified to teach Yoga and actually teaching Yoga is like the icing on the cake. I like to think I am still a student and will be studying every day… and what better way to close the circle to share what I learn to the community around me… and make it a job out of it… what more could I ask for but to keep learning… as I grow…

So yes… thank you dear Divine Mother for answering my prayers…

Cannot forget the friends and my family who have supported me so much..

It is a mountain I have to climb… but then I am from the mountains… guess I am in my element…. rain or shine..

Today I sit and write this so that when I am down or out, I can read this and remind myself about this lesson I am learning… the memory gets tricky…

The other day I was surfing the net in search of some inspiration. Just as I was clicking my way through different links… on the web, I came across this beautiful story of Joey and Rory..

My heart has been always been strumming to country music right from school where, I would swing to the many many tunes of George Strait, Don Williams, Alan Jackson and well one of my top top favorites Jim Reeves among many others.

I would wait to buy the audio cassettes when they would be on the racks in Shillong. We did not have Itunes or downloads back then. ( good old days)

So I followed up on the story of Joey and Rory and found immense inspiration with their story.  Rory is just a brillant writer and he was so courageous to share the most vulnerable phase in his life. It was very humbling to me and their story also again reinstated my faith in the Divine.

As we grow older we all have the painful but deeply enriching experience of losing our beloved friends and loved ones along the way. Its part of our journey and we have the choice to learn many positive aspects in our lives…

This story came to me at a very opportune time and it filled me with pain at first but a deep sense of appreciation seeing Joey’s belief in her Saviour. And her love for life and the way she lived. Simple and down to earth…

And the music was just the best icing on the cake… I loved what Rory penned about them… He was the song and she was the singer. A beautiful match.

Reading about their life… (because it was so well written) made me again be grateful and again be aware of the deep gratitude that is in me for being alive… being able to breathe… inspite of everything…. life is made to live well…. and then we die well…I always believe in that…every post is tinged with so much hope and thankfulness… its very inspiring..

Reminded me of my mom’s struggle with her health before she passed on. My roomate’s struggle with cancer before she passed on… so many other memories… it sometimes seemed that the Rory was writing my story in bits and pieces… Sigh… 🙂 Like many others, I too prayed for her…. Like many others I have been entranced by the simplicity of the life that they have shared… its a privilege in today’s day… And like many, I think her voice and songs will keep with me for a long time to come.. Thank you Joey for that gift… 🙂 Your hymns are magical… your songs are a delight… and your story makes me live better and better…

So I just thought I would like to share one of their many songs I have become  a fan of… Today this has been playing in my mind.

Beautiful lyrics… and a beautiful way to say whats important… right down to the roots…

Here is this beautiful song..

Here are the lyrics… most of which resonated so strongly with me…  had to post this… 🙂

“That’s Important To Me”

Not planning our day around a TV set

Paying our bills and staying out of debt

That’s important to me

That’s important to me

 

Opening the windows and letting in air

Holding hands when we’re saying a prayer

That’s important to me

Yeah, that’s important to me

 

Having somebody to share my life

Loving my husband and being a wife

And the very best mother I can be

That’s important to me

 

Telling the truth and being real

Feeding my family a home cooked meal

That’s important to me

That’s important to me

 

Planting a garden and watching it grow

Keeping it country on the radio

That’s important to me

Yeah, that’s important to me

 

Always having you to hold

Being beside you when we grow old

And they plant us ‘neath that big old tree

That’s important to me

 

Always having you to hold

Being beside you when we grow old

And they plant us ‘neath that big old tree

 

Believing our dreams will take us somewhere

Still being ourselves if we ever get there

That’s important to me

That’s important to me

 

Yeah, that’s important to me

That’s important to me

 

That’s important to me

And if you are interested to know more, here is this brilliant writer’s blog

10906235_973202189376002_3041014388584192215_nAs the new year creeps in, it feels like the time is swinging by and the year is at a fast forward motion.

 

So many events keep passing by that its sometimes difficult to keep pace but I like it.

Where there is no movement, slowly stagnation sets in.

 

My desire to write has been burning and yet everytime I sit to pen down a few words the grey matter just dissolves…. Into mundane activities…

The yearning to write made me go to Quora… but this was with the aim of sharing on a different platform. I am thinking I will put those answers in my blog as a sharing here as well..

Rediscovering blogger pals on one of the FB pages.. was heartening..It was so joyful to see some get back to writing,.Keeps inspiring me…

Getting off Facebook Slowly makes me more and more positive towards life.

Yes I keep hearing from friends and relatives that I am not able to keep up with their life as I am not regular on Facebook… Well if you want to connect you can always meet me  over a cup of coffee and share your updates with me… but normal catching up is going null and void now.. its all online…

I stubbornly clutch to the offline way of connecting and still take pleasure in hanging out really with good friends offline… a point which I am going to follow this year…

And yes there are some who are so totally out of connect that they actually tell me…. I don’t have time to look at your online activities… so you need to catch up with me 1:1…

Life as I knew it is slowly shutting down. Life as I once lived… I like that state of existence… and its time to backboot myself..

Lessons in invisible boundaries… I knew about it but actually being pushed away by it.. different perceptions , getting to know about them… and breaking them apart and being part of the melee that is called the social system… has been an interesting space…

Lessons in compassion for self and the time when to say enough. It never is enough, the lessons..

And the ability to get lost again… lost and reaching a point when I have to choose… between action and inaction… to be or not to be… is what I am left with.

Tough decisions to be taken this year and yeah weirdly am looking forward to it.  Sometimes, just like machines, life needs a reboot . 2015, I am rebooting and decluttering and debunking all the rooted beliefs which keep me going backwards instead of moving forward…  feels good just thinking about it…

its scary but in a good way…

Poet Maya Angelou on courage: “One isn’t born with courage. One develops it by doing small courageous things—in the way that if one sets out to pick up a 100-pound bag of rice, one would be advised to start with a five-pound bag, then 10 pounds, then 20 pounds, and so forth, until one builds up enough muscle to lift the 100-pound bag. It’s the same way with courage. You do small courageous things that require some mental and spiritual exertion.”

Today was reading this and thought about a random post…

One of my other favorite prayer is the Serenity Prayer which always humbles me and brings me down to earth…

images (5)

And the thought led me to this :

It takes courage

to first find yourself far away from the rules and regulations that the system forces on us

to accept yourself and then be yourself living with abundant joy

to be a part of a tree and when that tree becomes poison, separate yourself from it along with the illusory attachment,

to know and experience that alone does not always mean lonely… can lead to greater enlightenment

to exist without the need for approval and believing in the instinctive truth that one sees…

to live amidst scores of judgement and still stand by oneself and one’s belief despite that

to be laughed at and be ridiculed and yet live with supreme confidence

to be part of the said system and yet find your unique path, live it with supreme confidence knowing that you like everyone else are living your purpose and the contrast that

to be mindful of what is said and how can I find service in my actions

to be patient while someone is busy blowing their trumpet, understanding that the trumpet is telling you that this soul has no one to talk to or share his achievements… and you are doing a service in listening someone’s sense of achievement.. with encouragement..

to not digress from one’s own path while getting diverted from other soul journeys…

to be in the “know” and not lose focus… of my purpose… and get involved in the seven worldy dramas…

to be compassionate in the face of abject hatred and utter rejection

to be non judgmental when somethings goes against your belief system…

to be joyful in the face of frequent obstacles…

to listen to your inner voice/spirit guides muting all the well meaning suggestions… thereby gaining clarity with self

to climb the ladder of enrichment again and again, based on life’s lessons, without giving up, knowing there is something wonderful, if we get past this one…

to make my dreams come true… and live it… second by second

to have no ego…

to be non-judgmental about my own self..

to be still….

 

Its past dinner and while Rocks is watching Nat Geo, a post has been forming in my mind.

Watched the movie Alice in Wonderland this evening and well I recommend it to the adults who like animation. Not sure about the kids though. Has a very adult take. Somewhere I was confused too. I have not read the sequel to the book. So well, it was a surprise. But I liked the movie anyway.. fun watch.. good 3D. This 3D revolution is making things funny. I only wish the glasses were clearer.

So today’s discussion in the NLP group meet talked about decisions. It was very interesting. Our coach made us go through a very important thought..

Some of the questions to think about

When you look at yourself today, what makes you what you are ?

Based on certain decisions, you have taken during your life phases, things have moved on and shaped you to be who you are.

Its very important to make decisions.

Did you know ?

  • PESTI CIDE – is to cut off pests
  • SUI CIDE – is to cut off your own life
  • HOMI CIDE- is to cut off human life
  • DE CIDE – is to cut off any other possibilities but the decision that you take.

Its a very powerful tool.  Reflect back and see yourself making some of the best decisions in your life.

How does it make you feel  ?

And yes look at the decisions which were not so good and where you hesitated ?? How does that feel ?

Think and feel about this two situations.. And remember it.

The next time you are about to take a decision, check how you feel and you will know if the decision you make is right for you.

This was today’s learning and I think it was a powerful way to look inside yourself.

So making the right decisions, in the toughest of circumstances, it took a lot of ” muchness”..but it felt so free and right..

I can remember so many.

  • The decision to not compete with school grades and friends.
  • The decision to support friends who were not really looked at with favorable eyes by others and were actually harmful for me.. ( yeah it was stupid but it felt right and I feel good looking back)
  • The decision to come out of my first relationship.
  • The decision to walk a different path when all were forcing me on one.
  • The decision to come to Bangalore.
  • The decision to get married to Rocky.
  • The decision to be at a certain place and time in the career.
  • The decision to not take shit from people you think you cannot do without, like friends and bosses.
  • The decision to choose friends wisely.
  • The decision to not take traditional enforcements for the sake of it and yet break a middle ground..
  • The decision to not choose complicated but choose simplicity in my thoughts as much as I can.
  • The decision to recognize my ego rise up and accept the darker side as well and turn it constructively.
  • So many thoughts… its really is pushing me up up up..

There are so many of them.. I feel so much “muchness” in me when I look back.

As I think about the decisions which was right for me, I am filled with confidence and the very power to take on anything that life throws at me, knowing that when time comes, I can trust in myself to make the decision that is right for me.

So take a while and ponder upon your current state and the decisions you have made to be where you are.. It could show you a powerful aspect of yourself which you can always tap into to move forward in any situation.. At least I believe so..that’s what miracles are made of.. I guess.. your own self..

So access your “muchness” and move on !!